To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
