Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
