Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
