It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
