Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
