the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
