Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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