I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My life is pants optional.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
