whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
