Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
