this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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