That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I want to walk on stilts...naked
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
