im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
