i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
