it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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