dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Randomize
