I cannot find my penis.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
bring money and cleavage
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
