do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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