i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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