bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
