There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
