Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
