the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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