We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
