I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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