A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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