My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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