if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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