Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
two words: eviction party
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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