Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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