So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize