please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Liz is crying about burritos again.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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