it's too hot outside to masturbate.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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