She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
