she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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