we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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