Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
