I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
