oh god the rape fog is back!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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