Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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