So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
