speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
