I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
