She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
