I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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