I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
