I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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