when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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