Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
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