shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize