brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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