Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
