So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
