JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
