I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
