I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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